INVENTIONS

INVENTIONS
Architect’s have to be very inventive as so many of the details of a building are unique and basically have to be invented.
I’ve compiled a comprehensive list of inventions that were pretty important way before the year one (Before my time). This kind of stuff is really interesting to me and I don’t know if anyone else is interested, but I do offer a small segment of it to whet your appetite.

CHRONOLOGY OF INVENTIONS by J.L. Langworthy
-1,000,000+ Control of Fire (a biggie)- Europe
-30,000 Axe head - Europe
Maniac squeezer - South America
Boomerang - Australia
Toggle-Joint Harpoon - Eskimo
Axe handle
-8000 Agriculture
Blow-gun
Tobacco Pipe - Sumer
You’ll have to get the rest from me if you want to know what happens next.

WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO
In between my Blogging I try to keep busy doing architecture. I seem to be able to keep most of it a secret, inadvertently, but it’s time to come out of the Design Closet. The following are some of the work I’ve been doing recently.

PALM SPRINGS RESIDENCE 4,600 SF About $2.500,000
This was a preliminary design for a couple for a lot adjacent to a golf course. The garages for cars and golf cart is set in a driveway court (With a Moroccan color scheme) as it also offers extra parking for guests. A small casita is a separate building for guests. Exterior finish is EIFS over plywood base to fend off stray golf balls. Also large doors and windows off the patios are protected with a sun-screen with adjustable baffles for sun control in the blistering summers. The entry walk bridges a lap pool with a glass floor. Ceiling heights reflect the importance of each area, from 8' to 20'.

DRIFTWOOD RD. SALMON CREEK, Addition & renovations 495 SF+ 246 SF addition $300,000 budget
An old 1970's structure with no real bedroom and only a 5' galley kitchen and minimal bath but in a prime location next to a state park and beach. We added a small bedroom with laundry, inserted a new kitchen in the odd bay and under the existing stairs, also expanding the tiny bash into the old kitchen area. New roofing, insulation, cedar siding inside and out, all new fenestration and mechanical systems, a small gas stove as the only heat, copper gutters, black slate floors throughout except for the bedroom. New septic system.


MIWOK RD.. SALMON CREEK Bodega Bay Addition & renovation 800 SF+ 450 SF addition $280,000
An expanding family living in a 1980's house needs to add bedrooms and baths to accommodate the couple and two young girls. In an area of strict zoning and septic restraints, 480 SF is the maximum allowed addition of conditioned area. We have proposed a new carport (Cantilevered roof) a garage for a boat and small workshop as well as the bedroom & bath additions. As the existing roof is termite infested, we will replace it with an undulating roof that will continue over the new work. Light tan colored rock will emulate the nearby sand dunes at the beach. A new septic system has been installed, and Coastal Commission approval is being sought, which will take about three months.

GRANNY UNIT Graton , Renovation 384 SF $22,000
Legalizing a non-conforming very small studio granny unit. Upgrade this old ‘70's hippy shack to current code required a foundation, new bath & kitchen, interior finishes, new windows & doors.

LYSTER RESIDENCE Laguna Beach, CA 4,700 SF $3,000,000 estimate
A steep angled uphill lot for a couple and their teen age daughter has severe building envelope restrictions but is finally under construction after two and a half years it took to obtain Design Review approval from an anal city review process. Based upon a triangular grid, all exposed framing is cris-crossed on the grid. On four levels, beginning with a four car underground garage, the second level has the entry for walk up from the street plus a studio and guest room above the garage. The third level contains the two bedrooms and a music room, while the fourth level contains the living, dining and kitchen areas, which have a fine view of downtown Main Beach of Laguna. Low pitched roofs are within one inch of the “Building Envelope”. A large percentage of the roof area is planted to conform to strict run-off rules. Exposed steel, re-sawn timbers, glass and rough finished stucco are the main materials. Originally an inclined lift was proposed to get from garage to the kitchen, but had to be abandoned due to too many code restrictions. (I had used inclinators extensively in Laguna). Instead, we had to use two elevators in a stepped mode in order to keep within the height limit imposed on the site.

ZERO TOLERANCE

ZERO TOLERANCE & the Secret War
The concept of zero tolerance seems to be a result of writing laws that cannot predict all the ramifications of a particular area. Take for instance, HC accessability, an area where I am an unwilling participant, as most architects and builders are.
I am always amazed when I see taxpayer’s money (mine) squandered mostly due to a few greedy people (parasites) feeding on our fear of being sued due to some minor infractions of handicap accessability issues.
But, there is always someone to interpret our poorly written laws to line their pockets, and unfortunately they have the backing of the Department of Justice of the United States. Try fighting that battle.
The thing that really bugs me is all this stuff seems to be secret. What do they want other than money? We all want to conform to the ADA laws, but not to do unreasonable, expensive and unnecessary work due to ambiguous laws. Is it true that the state has recently adopted new HC laws that will result in the Justice Dept. Will lean on the Dept. Of Transportation who will lean on the county public works, etc...to build a $40,000 parking space in Graton when in reality, there was only a few inches out of conformance (Might as well be 20 feet). All the sidewalk ramps in the state (or all 52 states) are to be replaced due to a small redesign? I realize our government does not understand or care about such mundane concepts as “Cost benefit ratios” which means that the costs of something should be related to the benefits derived , not so open ended that the results will cost untold, yes, un-calculated, not even considered, millions and billions. Meanwhile, our roads are falling apart and we can’t afford to repair them.
I’ve already watched, as you have, cities jack hammer up lots of curb ramps to replace those that are not in conformance with the new regulations. And probably, will have to torn up in the near future, to conform to some ever changing guidelines. It is a pretty blatant how some lobbyists working for the folks who make the yellow knobby pads that are now required on all intersections got to our lawmakers to change the handicap laws so they had to use the pads. This means tearing up all the old curb ramps and replacing them with new ones.
How much does it really cost to replace each ramp? City engineers won’t tell me but I’m hearing about $5,000 per ramp. Who pays for all this? We do! Does anyone care? Am I the only one?

PEDESTRIANS
So many young people are getting hurt and killed in crosswalks, I began to wonder why. But then, I began to observe how youths go about crossing a street. I’ve been surprised how some get into a crosswalk and feel as if they’d entered a force shield as they totally ignore the machines around them. They are so complacent they believe no vehicle can penetrate the sacred zone where they tread. Allow me to offer a suggestion. Send all teenagers to Rome for a week, let them walk around the city and if they survive the no holds barred traffic streams in the crazy Italian method, then upon their return you can bet they will look upon any vehicle in sight to be a potential threat to their very life and limb to maybe pay a little more attention and to drivers who are paying even less attention.

COPING IN HARD TIMES
Please revisit my recipe for Depression Dinner in my Blog “Misery Revisited”.
Meanwhile, I’ll pass on a few more tips on how to survive this second depression (for me anyway).
1. I like a glass of Port after dinner like the next gentleman, but the good Spanish stuff is over $20 a bottle and my favorite Australian Tawny Ports are over $12 a bottle. Biting the bullet, I buy a local Fairbanks Port (from Modesto) in a 1.5 litre bottle for $7. I decant this into a saved good empty bottle of Morgado Porto or Presidential Porto, as it is easier to pour out of a small .75 litre bottle. Then I don’t think any more of it and pour myself a small glass of my “vintage” port (and for my guests).
2. Keeping my office expenses down is a big part of my life since I virtually have no work during these hard times. With two printers, one fax, a big copier and a large plotter, ink cartridges are a big expense. Fortunately, my local Ace Hardware store and our local Whole Food Market are able to supply me with refilled cartridges for one third to one half the price of a new one. You have to plan a head a little as it may take a few days to get you ink jets back.
3. Lunch - In the good old days (About two years ago) I used to get out to the local cafe, (Underwood Bistro) and have a wonderful salad with a couple of glasses of wine almost every day. I even had a tab there! Well, those halcyon days are long gone and I’ve managed to come up with an alternate solution to the problem. The inspiration was when one of my artist tenants, Becker, gave me a case of really good wine, mostly Pinot Noir. I would tell a friend that if he brought over a couple of sandwiches, I would have a couple of fabulous wines for us (Fabulous in my book means $40/bottle). When the wine gave out I changed my tactics to ask them to bring over a bottle of red and I would have a fabulous sandwich for us. This system is working smoothly and sometimes I add a quick visit to France or Italy via my snapshot of architectural wonders on a big screen during our repast, since we can’t get to Europe right now..

ROADSIDE MEMORIALS
A recent invention, leaving plastic flowers, balloons, and other trash where someone has been killed. Who is supposed to clean up all this shit? Similar to “Outpouring of grief” for celebrities whom one had never met of known the person. A prime example was Di’s over reacting was the humongous pile of rotting flowers and debris left by all the “grieving” citizens. Her only accomplishment was divorcing Charlie (Good move) and shacking up with an Arab zillionaire (Good move #2).

WAITERS - who say “No problem”. Does that mean they anticipate one as a usual event? There better not be a problem. Also waiters who have to tell me their names. Yeah, well, I’m Lamont and I’ll be you very small tipper if you keep up this buddy bullshit!

WINE TANK IMPLOSION!
Pictured is a 40,000 gal wine tank that recently was crushed by that unknown force, vacuum in our neighborhood. Seems a tanker truck got too close and scraped off the valve and access port. As all the wine gushed out it created a vacuum so strong it crushed the stainless steel tank like a dixie cup. About three million for the wine and several thousand for the tank. Winemakers have to be careful even when transferring wine out of the tanks as they have to remember to open a vent valve on top to alleviate any vacuum. This actually does happen occasionally. Workers were able to contain the wine and keep it from getting into a nearby creek and get all the fish drunk. That’s one thing I like about living in this area, when I see a tanker truck drive by, it more than likely will be full of wine instead of gasoline

MERCHANT OF DEATH CAPTURED!
Back in June I noted Viktor Bout was the “Merchant of Death” and was selling weapons in competition with the US (We are the world’s largest purveyor). I read this morning he has been captured and the US wants to extradite him for trial here. This could get interesting as he was transporting equipment for the United States in Afghanistan as well as buying fuel from our armed forces for his old Russian planes so he could supply the Taliban. Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

U.S. SUPER BASES
More post-war help for the Iraqis due to the massive post-war building program we have ongoing in Irag. Take for instance, the new US Iraq Embassy - 21 buildings, 104 Acres - Bigger than Vatican, and of course, the cost is kind of secret but probably in the billions. This whole thing is supposed to be secret, but things leak out. Like it’s the largest in the world,, One billion and only 1/3 complete - For staff of 8,000 workers!
ALSO!
We are building Four Super bases in Iraq - $230 mill. Each for 55,000 soldiers
Biggest base = 15 square miles “Country Club” status, with pools, golf links, movie theaters, etc.

SERIOUS THOUGHT
One has to have a soul in order to suffer in Hell, Purgatory, or be happy in Heaven.
So at some point in our evolution we invented our “soul” in order to be threatened with one or the other. (Oh, no!, Don’t let me go to Heaven!).
If we knew where we came from before we were born, we would know where we were going when we die in the afterlife. I mean before crawling out of mom.
Inequalities of life - All men (women, too) are not created equal as we are led to believe. We may be sort of equal under the law, but that’s about it. Some are born slaves, idiots, genius, prodigies. Some with monumental talent, some just morons and vegetables. Some are lawyers or polititions. Some cultures threw them back (like the AmerIndians).
If animals don’t have a “soul”, when did man get one as he evolved from the chimpanzee?
Soul - The essence (not material) of a being that continues after one ’s body dies. From low to high? Stone to man? Anything higher than Man? To re-incarnate?

RELIGION DICTIONARY
Since most of the world’s wars are religion based, we should keep up on our daffynitions.
Omnipresent - Present in all places at all times
Omniscient - Infinite awareness, understanding
Omnipotent - Unlimited influence,
Ecumenical - World wide influence, Christian unity
Theist - Believes in a God.
Deist- Advocates natural religion based on human reason rather than revelation.
Atheist - Denies the existence of a supreme being.
Agnostic - A person who does not deny the possible existence of a God but holds that his existence and the origin of the universe are not known and probably cannot be known.
Gentile - A non-Jew or non-Mormon
Circumcision - From Egyptian tombs, Jews came from Egypt, ergo, brought it to the lucky Arabs and the rest of the world. 30% of all males got it. (Not me!). This was an obvious method to keep Jewish girls to know if they were having sex with a Jewish boy. (Until the Catholic boys started getting cut also). This is so cruel, how about just tattooing a symbol on our dicks?
Soul - The spiritual part of man believed to give life to his body and in many religions regarded as immortal.

MISCELLANEOUS
Miracles - Blind to see, Talking snakes, Garden of Eden, Dead to life, virgin birth,
Most are taken from previous myths of older and out of style Gods.

DOUBLE SPEAK
Prison - Correctional Facility
Prison Hospital - Correctional Facility Hospital
Dump - Refuse Disposal Site
Sebastopol Police Services - Police
Patriot’s Act - Orwell couldn’t have done better
Freedom Tower’s - Let Freedom Ring! We are so frustrated because we weren’t attacked by a country, just some freaky religionist fundamentalists. But we found a couple of countries that needed to be destroyed, nevertheless. (And the had Oil!).

POLITICAL DICTIONARY
Republic - Representative Democracy, as opposed to Direct Democracy.
Republic - Head of State (President, Prime Minister) appointed by elections.
Constitutional Law put limits on power (Sometimes).
Problem of corruption (Always).
Hegemony - Dominance over another

GOALS FOR TOTAL WORLD CONTROL (This’ll be for your own good). The following groups make it pretty evident what their ultimate goal is:

Communism
Islam
Christianity
Atheism (My choice!, but I’m not going to kill anyone over it.)

POST WWII Most countries needed small, cheap cars, here are some that appeared.
Japan - Subaru 360 (Copied Fiat)
East Germany(Russia) - Trabant (A piece of shit)
Germany - VW bug (It’ll never sell in US)
France - Citroen 2CV (My choice!)
Italy - Fiat 500 (Joy’s dream car)
US - Cadillac (We don’t need no steenking small cars)


EARTH LIFE
Planet Earth has only about 5.43 billion years left. About 10,000 years until next Ice Age.