FALL OUT OF LOVE

THE FALL OUT OF LOVE
I didn’t think I would use this sketch again but it once again seems pertinent to current events. This is a cartoon one of our previous tenants left & I don’t remember who it was. Have also some wonderful stuff like a Prince Phillip cut out dolls with a full line of absurd clothes. (Naturally Diana is also cleverly lampooned).

ON THE MARKET
In accordance with my long standing concept of Real Estate: “Buy High, Sell Low”, we have put our cabin on Donner Summit for sale for the absurd low price of $282,500.
Right now you can’t see the exterior as it is covered in snow about 15' deep. However, I can show you a shot of it during the warm, balmy summers, where we have been paddling around in our peddle boat to get to the bar at the lodge. It’s a small ‘A’ frame structure of 2.5 bedrooms, 1.5 baths. Nice big, partially covered deck to Tai Chi on or BBQ. Metal roof and all wood inside. We bought it ten years ago about this time of year and didn’t see the exterior until about June. Who cared? We only live on the inside.

DEMOCRASCLEROSIS

THE WORKINGS OF OUR GOVERNMENT
John Stewart’s book on American politics points out how we are actually governed by lobbyists, who manipulate our representatives. Well, I always thought this was a more or less covert deal until I heard our new governor, Mr Brown, say publicly that he would have to check with our politicians as well as our lobbyist regarding his tax cuts and restructuring. So, in actuality, Brown has to influence the lobbyists who in turn will influence the politician on what their vote will be on issues. It is so blatant that Brown is pictured with a lobbyist that he is lobbying! This system is basically a version of the old method of bribery used for so long in so many other countries that we purport to abhor.

SPONSORSHIP
A few short years ago, the USA had a bicycle team that was sponsored by The US Postal Service. It took me a while to wonder how they were able to sponsor a team that must cost millions of dollars each year, and more so, why did they feel they had to advertise like that? Were they trying to get Europeans to defect from France’s Le Post?
I believe it cost more that one million dollars to sponsor a team for a season, and I wonder why US Postal seems to be having money problems & raise rates about every six months 2 cents at a time. So basically, to sponsor a team is to advertise. Do you ever wonder why a business has to advertise when it is a monopoly? However, I do take offense at our armed forces sponsoring NASCAR race teams to the tune of $20 million (National Guard for Dale Earnhardt, Jr.) & US Army paying Newman $7.4 Million. I do realize that NASCAR fans is where their cannon fodder comes from, but is it the best use of my hard earned taxes?

ARCHITECTURAL CRITIQUE
Each time I see the iconic Sydney Opera House in a photo I see the roots of our current maxi-buildings that have totally deviated from the simple concept that Form follows Function. Or better yet, Form & Function are one. If you see a human body with a couple of extra arms or legs, we perceive it as a freak. Jorn Utzen, a Swedish architect who had no buildings constructed, but had won several competitions, was the winner of this competition. The budget was $7 million. This is still touted as ”one of the great buildings of the World”. However, how would you feel if you thought your building would cost 7 M when after 16 years & 10 years late the final cost would be 14 times the budget at $103 Million. Since this fledgling architect didn’t have a clue of how to build his ‘Iconic Sails’, Ove Arup , fortunately was hired to cobble it all together. Even so, Arup took nearly six years to find a structural solution that would be economical to build (Economical?). They would all be segments of the shells, which seems kind of obvious to a lay person like me. Aside from costing zillions and decades over construction time, Utzon wasn’t able to incorporate a 3,000 seat Concert Hall into his design. They ended up with a smaller one of 2600 seats. In addition, the Opera Hall is inadequate to stage large scale Opera and Ballet.
Well, Sydney, I hope you’re happy with the competition & got your money’s worth, if you have any left. Any lessons learned?
1. Competitions are very sketchy method of design. There is not enough research, information to do in depth studies.
2. An architect should have experience & background for such a large & complex project.
3. What client is naive enough to begin construction before knowing how much it would cost? 14 times a budget should have defrocked the architect.

THE BURNING QUESTION OF THE HOUR

DANGER! THE FOLLOWING IS A PHILOSOPHICAL DISCUSSION AND IF YOU’RE A DEVOUT ANYTHING, DO NOT READ THIS ESSAY. (This is Orange Threat warning from the Unpatriot Act)

IN LU WE TRUST
As I don’t have much architecture to do currently my thoughts have turned to the infinite. Ever since I opted out of the Catholic religion when I was 18, I have been searching for a substitute for Michelangelo’s God, like the one on the Sistine Chapel in Roma. I really never believed that the old man was able to cobble tegether the Universe, even in 7 days (or was it 6?). Christians have finally figured this out to be 4435 BC on a Sunday around 10.34 in the morning. The only other viable option I have come across is the concept that if there is not an uncaused cause,(or possible a caused uncause), then the entire Universe does really function quite well on certain laws of physics. In other words, the laws that govern the movements of atoms are the same ones that govern the creation of galaxies. (Here it gets a little fuzzy). Anyway, that seems a lot more plausible than that God, Jehova or Allah or even Zeus is conducting this symphony, down to listening to everyone’s prayers, brewing up devastating hurricanes, tsunamis & earthquakes, convincing everyone to get into his church or mosque, then destroy the entire building with all his faithful cowering in it. (Maybe by this time they may be his/her unfaithful). But I digress. I feel very comfortable considering an entity called Laws of the Universe as the creator and maintainer of the entire universe. To simplify this, I have tended to call this force (Remember the Force, Luke?) LU. I considered Universal Laws, but who wants to call the ultimate creator, maintainer & force UL?
Now aside from all this bullshit of creators & such, this has no relationship to whether we have a soul or no, since it’s mostly about religions. That’s really the burning question of the hour, (once we’ve solved the first burning question, see above). Even as far back as Socrates (see below), folks were beginning to suspect the existence of a soul, or some kind of essence or spirit that accompanied the body and left it at death as well as entering it at birth, of course. If we accept that proposition, we have to ask when a baby is born, when and where does this spirit of soul come from? The Christians have been fighting that one for years in order to ban any form of abortion. In other words, when is a human a human? They’ve probably got it back to about the fertilization of the egg, by the male sperm. Now we’re getting into sex! It won’t be long before they assume the sperm has the soul rider and to jerk off will be a federal offense.
So you can see there is a lot of murky thought to get into that end of the soul train so I am just sticking with the end of life part, as that is a lot closer for me than my origins. Now the problem here is that no one I know has come back from the dead to inform me what happened, if anything. I have a couple of books that describe many ‘Near death’ experiences collected by doctors. (Kubler-Ross, etc.) Most of these people have been in situations where they have been clinically dead for a few minutes (I’m not talking about just brain dead, like so many of our politicians and ministers of religions). There are peculiar similarities in their descriptions to each other and strangely, to descriptions of a few Masters from India . You know, a light at the end of the tunnel, friendly beings (No one saw the Devil so far). Now, the great masters don’t say they have died and come back. They attain inner states (You’ve got to meditate to do this) on several levels that culminate in the non-life area. In other words, they claim we need to ‘die’ while living and experience where it is we’re going when we die. This is not a new concept as it has been around for thousands of years but it certainly is new to us, within the last couple of centuries here in the Americas.

TRIAL OF SOCRATES
Published by I.F. Stone in the 1980's. He was the publisher of IF Stones Weekly, a muckraking independent journal. After a heart attack, he quit the journal, and decided to study freedom of thought in human history. He began by studying the English revolutions in the 1600's, which led him to the Protestant Reformation which in turn led to the Middle Ages when they had rediscovered Aristotle through the Arabic & Hebrew translations in the 12th century. That got him to study ancient Athens but he was disappointed in all the standard sources. Therefore, he had to learn Greek so he could go directly to the source and not rely on other’s commentaries. Now he was concerned about how could the trial of Socrates have happened in so free a society? His book,’The Trial of Socrates’ is about that.
In pursuing all the reports & writings in the original Greek related to Socrates and his concepts, he came to a startling conclusion. Socrates wanted to be convicted & possibly die. After all, he was seventy years old and that’s pretty old, even in our time. But more important, it becomes apparent that Socrates was a critic of democracy. Two of his students even became tyrants of Athens during a couple of rebellions that displaced democracy with Oligarchies. He was accused of corrupting the youth of Athens, not in a moral way, as the world of antiquity was pretty bi-sexual (chasing young boys around. This was the beginning of the priestly class)l, but convincing them that all should be ruled by one man, a philosopher, the ‘One Who Knows”. Of all the rulers in history, maybe Marcus Aurelius was such a one. But Socrates was an enemy of democracy, as is apparent from Plato’s Republic, a description of Socrates Utopia (or maybe distopia).
There were untold arguments that S. Could have used but didn’t. He was convicted by a very small margin of the 400 voters. He was then subjected to a sentencing trial, which due to his absurd defense, he was convicted to drink a draughft of Hemlock, not exactly a Cabernet Sauvignon. He could probably have gotten them to at least exile him, but to S., that would be worse than death. Remember, there was only one great Agora for him to strut around in and extol the intricacies of the universe to his adoring public, and that was in Athens.

UTOPIA

UTOPIAS
I’ve just finished The Faber Book of Utopias, edited by John Carey. It consists of descriptions of Utopias from ancient Egyptian to present day.
Beginning with an Egyptian Tale from about 1700 BC, when fictional narrative emerged after 1938 BC. In “A Tale of the Shipwrecked Sailor” a retainer tries to comfort his master who is sailing home from a failed mission of some kind. On a paradise island, a devine snake can suffer misfortune and overcome it. E.i., stoic endurance and self control will win the day. It was only translated in 1820!
The Greek Poet Hesiod wrote “Works & Days” about 700 BC. He describes the Four Golden Ages, where life was perfect, food falling off trees, etc. Probably from an earlier Zorostrian myth.
Plato’s “Republic” is more renowned. About 360 BC, he described Socrates’ version of a perfect world. However, it comes out as a totalitarian world of compulsion & authority, with three classes - Rulers, Auxillories (Police, etc.) and workers (us!). The masses needed to believe “A convenient Fiction” or “ Noble Lie” (Brainwashing?) Favored censorship as well as controlled breeding. (I’m outa here!).
Milton’s ‘Paradise Lost’ 1667, shows what a great life Adam & Eve had in the Garden. Not exactly like the bible, these two had lots of sex and fun!
Louis Antoine, Comte de Bougainville, 1771 described Tahiti, a real Utopia we all still want to go to. However, the are always mosquitos in paradise as his crew ended up with venereal disease from screwing all the beautiful young girls there. (Life’s not fair!).
Oscar Wilde’s ‘ The Soul of Man under Socialism’ of 1891, really advocated Anarchy more than Socialism. His aim was to shock people into thinking, an exercise, he believed, they seldom undertook.
Karl Marx wrote ‘Critique’ in 1875.
Samuel Butler’s ‘Erewhon’ most people will remember.
Hilton’s ‘Lost Horizon’, at least we saw the movie.
Hitler’s ‘Mien Kampf’ of 1924 was always a best seller.
Orwell’s ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’, 1949, has come and gone, except some of it came true.
The last one of the book is Lee Silver’s ‘Rembering Eden’, written in 1998
Utopia means nowhere or no-place. Distopia a not so nice place. But all try punishing criminals, not punishing criminals, and exterminating them are all methods of turning people into Utopians. We all have our own personal Utopias. What’s yours?

FUNNIES
When I was a kid (1935), almost all the funnies were written for young people like me. There were a few exceptions, even in those days, like ‘Krazy Cat,Pogo, etc. I just realized the other day that almost all our funny papers are made for adults. What do the kids, see? Just cartoons on TV? Maybe Peanuts is still for kids, although Shultz’s humor has been that little tykes think like adults. Do little folks understand that?

THE NOOZ
It’s a funny world, though. Look at how I get my news of world events. Jon Stewart’s The Dailey Show. The Colbert Report and now the Onion News ( “News Before it’s Made”). I tried to watch the supposedly real news shows the other evening to justify my curiosity that it was absurd and could only spend about half an hour of my getting more precious hourly time before I had to abort. Let me tell you young wippersnappers (Whatever that means) how we used to get our news other than from the radio. Everyone would usually get to the movies at least once a week. The main feature (Casablanca) would be preceded by a cartoon (Mr Magoo, Roadrunner) as well as a short ‘Pathe News ‘ reel of about five minutes. It would strickly show actual events that happened the previous week usually, but only accompanied by a narrator describing the scenes. Talking heads were unknown. Of course, it was all in Black & White color.

WORD FOR THE DAY (Just in from the Gulf)
Petrochemigull

SHOPPING HINTS
Toilet paper - You can tell a lot about a country by their toilet paper. When I first got to England, I was appalled by their TP. It was kind of like thinner wax paper! What the hell! Didn’t they know it was supposed to be kind of absorbing the stuff you were trying to wipe off? The French, they use a pink paper in a pile of small individual sheets that disintegrate when you try to use it. The Italians? They don’t give you any. I always carry a roll of TP whenever I travel to Europe, as God knows, you’re going to need it. Don’t forget to take a small flashlight into the loo with you as the light switch will invariably turn
off before you are finished and leave you floundering around in a unfamiliar toilet trying to finish up in pitch dark.
Back home here, your choices are unlimited. In my search for the true grail of TP, I have tried them all. The long & short of it is...The more they advertise, the crystal worthless the product. I finally settled on the cheapest one, Ultra-somthing from Safeway. It has all the right stuff. Easy to start unrolling without ripping half the roll apart trying to get thru the glue part, sheets tear easily and where you want them to, double sheets, strong enough not to fall apart easily, etc..

While we’re on paper products, why did it take a hundred years for Paper
Towel people to come up with “Select-a-size’ rolls? I suppose the executive who thought that up is now basking in Bermuda in his condo, enjoying the rest of his rich life on the beach. Even now, it seems there is only one company making it. And just try to find rolls that are not printed with some inane bullshit pattern that I wouldn’t have in the house in the first place. Life is soo hard!

DEATH & TAXES
Since I’m getting too close to the first part, we’ll skip that & talk about income tax for the Feds. I am beginning to think that exempting religions from paying taxes is not a rational decision. I know, we have determined that they are supposedly a ‘Non profit’ entity, but can you imagine how much money that must cost the US? If they’re so non-profit, how can they build Crystal Cathedrals costing millions in Anaheim? Fortunately, Billy Graham is just about dead so he won’t be giving all our presidents advice on how to run our country. Maybe Obama will be able to turn a deaf ear to the Christians anyway, as long as he doesn’t give to much to the Muslims. Most good Xians , Jews & Muslims give 10% of income to their churches, allowing all the priests, rabbis & mullas to lay around all day in luxury. Just imagine if all those zillions went to the Feds we could have continuing wars all over the Middle East. (As if we don’t already). Do you think we could look at our Health Care and maybe get it as good as Holland or France?

FOR THE FOODIES
Being a history buff and having lived in the Islands for a year as a kiamana beach boy I recently got curious about where pineapple came from. Well, here’s the skinny - The Pineapple originated in Paraguay (That’s in South America) and somehow got to the Carribes at the time of Columbus (This area is kind of sketchy). By the 1600's the plant had gotten to the Phillipines and not until 1813 did it finally arrive in Hawaii. The rest is the history of Dole.
Now sugar cane originated in India before 600 AD. By 770 it had gotten to Bagdad and Egypt. The Sabres of Paradise brought it over to Spain thru North Africa around 1400. It wasn’t long before it got to the West Indies and on to Phillipines and later to Hawaii. Unfortunately, it soon became apparent that sugar beets in Europe were cheaper and the market went to hell.

WINTER SALE!

BOOK REPORT
The Gate, the true Story by John Van der Zee is one of the best book about the construction of the Golden Gate Bridge. You have to overlook the poor quality of inaugurated reproductions of drawings & photos but you really get the incredible problems that Joseph Strauss had to overcome. Aside from about ten years of political bull shit he waded thru, and the surprising innovations of the bridge, and given that all this happened in the middle of the Depression, we are fortunate it all turned out so well. Other than the fact the bridge was paid off a long time ago and the district subsidized the ferries and the bus system in order to burden us with ever increasing fares.
Strauss, the purported engineer of the bridge, was actually the promoter of the whole thing, he fortunately hired the best engineers in the US (Ahman, Moiser, etc.) but especially Charles Ellis, a brilliant man in the wings who really made it feasible. Fortunately, Strauss’s first design, a combination cantilever/suspension structure (Ugly!) was replaced by the all suspension type, which was a thousand feet longer than any built to that date. A span of 4,200 feet was really stretching the envelope at the time. It was only recently spans were built longer. Roebling Company, (Brooklyn Bridge) spun the cables and inaugerated safety measures on the bridge, even using hard hats made of leather.
In those days, you figured on one death for every million dollars of construction cost.
As the bridge cost 33 million, that no one was killed during the initial stages was a miracle. However, when the deck was nearly completed, a large platform used for stripping forms of the concrete roadway collapsed, sending twelve souls to the water. Two survived the fall, broken up a bit.
The color? Originally to be silver, like the Bay bridge, the architect (Riding in on his white horse!) Convinced all that International Orange would be perfect. Praise the Lord!

COFFEE SHOP BLUES
For the past few years, after I have my morning porridge & coffee & read the newspaper, I escape to one of several coffee emporiums to read a book. I could do this at home but my wife chatters all the time, even though I have my nose in a book. I have about four places I can go to have a second cup and read in peace for about an hour. As the old saying goes: ‘There are mosquitos in Paradise’. A couple of problems have emerged to squelch my early morning tranquility. One is music over the loud speaker system. The Village Bakery, was run for years by an attractive Scandinavian lady who had wonderful classical music softly on the background. Recently, she retired and sold to a young jitterbug who took over, although he didn’t change the food (Fortunately!) He blasts your auditory system with the usual banl pop music that really is disconcerting. The same thing happened to my Forestville shop, except it was louder there. Asking the teen-bopper working there to tone it down only gets reprisals with worse music louder.
But wait, there’s more! Inevitibally, after I’ve become a regular, people begin to act friendly, interrupting my concentration on “The trial of Socrates” or my current tome. My only hope is the Union Hotel Bakery in Occidental, where They still make a fabulous Italian turnover. However, I do bitch about that as years ago, some younger member of the clan decided to change from white flower to whole wheat which made the turnover tend to fall apart more easily. Oh, the horror of it all!

SELLING OUT
Joy and I have a small, older (1975) cabin on Donner Summit that we have owned for ten rears, but with the economy in the toilet, and real estate selling at it’s lowest in years, we are putting it up for sale. We would like to keep it for another couple of years, but look, I’m not getting any younger and we’ve got to get to Europe soon before the dollar gets better over there. Anyway, if you’re interested, we are expecting about $380,000 for it. It’s really great if you like shoveling out of ten foot snowdrifts every time you go up to do a little skiing. But mostly, I’m telling you this to pitch all the furniture, and accouterments that we will have to get rid of. What to do with our 6 Breuer dining chairs, the oak dining table that easily breaks down for moving (My famous Nomad Furniture), a Breuer lounge chair, plus a couple of original Eames ply chairs.

CIAO GRAPEMAN
Recently, my favorite grape grower, Dominic Canale, died. When my friend, Dodson and I were making wine, we loved the experience of buying our grapes from Dominic. He had 75 acres of zinfandel and Cabernet that bill and I mined. Dominic was one of those characters one is fortunate to run into, He came to the US when he was five to escape Mussolini’s influence. While fighting in Italy in WW2 he was a valuable asset to the Allies as he could speak Italian and French. His father sang opera, which Dominic did also, and when Dominic got to Monte Cassino , the monks taught him the Stradella, based on the life of a 17th century Italian composer. After the war, who else would use the GI Bill to study at La Scala in Milan for six years?
It was always a memorable experience buying our grapes from Dominic. We would arrainge to meet at his farm in Dry Creek Valley and he would have all the grapes picked, usually about one half ton. He would dump them in his crusher and then fill our 33 gal containers with the must. Of course, during this whole process, we would be drinking his wine , as well as his port, eating a selection of cheeses and bread until everyone was pretty loopy and really shouldn’t be operating any machinery at all. But that’s one of the hazards of making wine and one just has to live with it. Anyway, we all had just a terrific time and managed to get over to my place in Graton to innoculate the grapes with the proper yeast in order to begin fermentation.

CURBS

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Twenty years ago California passed a laws to make our total environment accessible to wheelchairs and other disabilities. This included all apartments and commercial buildings. Money was no object. The Feds followed soon after following California’s pioneering efforts. The concept of “Cost Benefit Ratio” is an unknown concept with our government entities. These laws are always easily passed, as no politician would vote no on such a controversial law. I’m not bitching about the fact that such laws are passed, but how such laws are written and interpreted as a zero tolerance concept. Such laws as the ADA (Americans with Disability Act) , are so complicated and fuzzy the spawned groups who made a good living off it.
Initially no one knew who was in charge of enforcing these laws. Building officials didn’t know much about the law, but it soon became prevalent in all aspects of our lives, buses, trains, streetcars had to retrofit in a hurry to avoid huge penalties from individuals & groups who had their rights violated.. There is virtually no way to win such a lawsuit for a small business but cities & large corporations scrambled to conform.
The concept of the ADA is that all people, regardless of their infirmity, must be able to use all facilities like the rest of humanity. They make absurd claims that 40 million Americans are handicapped. This means partial blind, deaf or just a broken leg from your skiing accident.
Let’s take a look at the area that really upsets me, the replacement of all curb ramps in all intersections in all the cities and towns of the U.S. I’m not complaining about a curb ramp has to be installed where there is none. My problem rests where I see a ramp being jack-hammered out after five years in order to install the newer, upgraded design. You’ve seen these replaced with a slightly different slope, a nice bright yellow feely pad, plus a level area at the bottom fills up with water when it rains.
The costs of the upgrades add up to an astronomical amount. I’ve checked with various cities and I’m told each one costs about $5,000, if there are no problems or infrastructure to change. Does anyone not believe that a powerful lobby pushed thru these new versions that require the yellow pads, which cost about $350 each. Just do the math, Sebastopol has about 100 intersections times four ramps equals a couple of million dollars. Meanwhile our roads are falling apart due to lack of funds.
Nobody seems to be upset by these costs, as they say, well, the Feds pay for all this. But I see that my taxes pay for all this. I don’t mind doing it once, but changing ramps every 5 - 10 years is plain crazy. Zero tolerance is also part of the problem, 1/4" tolerance in most cases. Well, the world is not made that way. If not, the Department of Injustice will see to it that you are punished.

POLITICAL DICTIONARY
Democracy People meet & exercise the government in person
(For small areas only)
Republic People assemble & administer it by their representatives & agents
(Large areas only)
Senate Two reps/State
House of Representatives By population. About 30,000 per rep.?

So you see, we don’t want to impress Democracy on the world, we want to get everyone to form a republic. Let’s get with it, Talibans!

But Sparta, Athens, Rome & Carthage were Republics, although they didn’t let the riff- Raff vote, only landholders.

NOT EXACTLY A NOVEL
Recently, I finished reading THE FEDERALIST, 85 essays written by Madison, Jefferson and Jay (Who’s he?), in about three months just prior to the ratification of the Constitution in 1888. It has become the classical interpretation of the Constitution. I had always wanted to read it and lo & behold, there it appeared at the Graton Post Office where we leave and pick up books.
I had always thought the Federlists were people who wanted too much power for a Federal government, but it turns out they were just rational , intelligent beings who wanted to have a government of all 13 colonies. There’s all kind of interesting shit in there, like, some states wanted to break up into 3 nations, or two nations instead of just one United States. (North and South, for instance).
These gents gave detailed arguments pro and con for all the issues of our proposed Constitution. For instance, if the House of Representatives consisted of one rep for 30,000 people of a state, how do you figure in the slaves, as they represented about 20% of the population? Well, they finally considered that they weren’t exactly chattel or all human so they figured each slave was about 3/5th of a person.
These short essays appeared about every two days for months, considering such things as how long should a president serve? Two years? Four may be best. How long for Senators? For Representatives? For Judges? Interestingly, the president was not voted by the popular vote, but by the Electorial College, who were representatives of the people, maybe they still do, I can’t tell. Also, the State Legislatures woere to elect the Senators. What happened to that? A lot of stuff came from the structure of some states legislatures and governors. But our division of power into thirds: Executive, Legislative & Judicial was unique in all of history. Adams seemed to be the heavy when it came to researching the history of republics, including Greece and such.
They spent lot of time on how to pay for a Federal Gov., and the thought of a personal Income tax didn’t enter their minds. A Bill of Rights was defeated but finally added in 1791 as the first 10 Amendments to the Constitution..
What is really amazing is the Constitution is only seven pages long.
Think about that.

LUCKY DOGS
We’ve lost it. Culture doom. Pets with Disabilities Act. It has come to my attention that when your pet has a major health problem, we have unlimited options for assisted living. Owners (Only in America) will go to any extreme to facilitate their pet’s mobility and health. In lieu of “putting them down” or “euthanizing” , no matter how painful it is for us, we can’t call it “killing the little sucker”. Old dog become paralyzed in his hind legs? His spine has collapsed? You can choose between a vet bill of several thousand dollars or buy a canine Cart from Eddie’s Wheels. They will ship out a wheeled gismo for your cat, dog, bunny, goat, sheep or alpaca for only a couple of thousand bucks. Who in hell in his right mind would buy a pet from “Pets with Disabilities”? Independent Animal Rescue in North Carolina paid $2300 for surgery on a CAT that had a broken leg! We spend $48 BILLION on pet products per year! That may be more than we spend on our kids! The pet food aisles in our markets are larger than some European stores!
Even worse! ‘Three Dog Bakery’ franchise will prepare a “Feast fit for the Beast” of Lamb Wellington, Kibble, spinach dip & pumpkin pie all for $20! I’m not even going to get into Pet psychiatrists, Massues & chiropractors. Does anyone here think we are pampering our pets too much?
After all that, I have a confession to make. My first wife, Joyce came with a male red cat named “Red”. While living in Malibu he got run over on the Coast Highway, which resulted in his two back legs broken to smithereens. We didn’t have much income at the time but Joyce, who probably would have thought twice before paying for my hospital bill of broken legs, paid hundreds of dollars to her vet to fix up old Red. I have to admit, he faired pretty well during a long convalescent period with his entire hind end wrapped up in a cast with the tail sticking out of it. It wasn’t long before he mastered the art of walking on his front legs, his rear end up in the air. He even was able to hop up on chairs with his balancing act. After he got out of his cast he walked with hardly a limp. Of course, he only lived another couple of years so Joyce really didn’t get her money’s worth.

IMMAGRUNTS

THE REVISED “COLLOSSUS”
It appears time to update Emma Lazarus’s sonnet on the Statue of Liberty as we have
certainly revised our concept about immigration.
Let’s just take the last part of the poem:
....”“Bring, ancient lands, your storied pomp for our Empire” cries she with silent lips
“Give me your fired-up, your super rich, (Keep your fucking poor) your educated
masses yearning to earn more and usurp our scientists, their white collar criminals of
your teeming shore. Send these, the world travelers, luxury laden to me, I lift my lamp
beside the golden door!”

KLEENEX
As the old saw goes; We can land a man on the fucking Moon, but can’t get a box of
Kleenex to give up a sheet of tissue without ripping it all to shreds! Maybe we can give
NASA a contract to see if they can overcome this incredible problem. Now an engineer
would know enough about the tensile stresses in paper to align the fibers in the proper
direction that would give the strongest tissues and not disintegrate when you pull it out
of the box.

FAKE TREES
Why do we Americans have such an antipathy to innovation and science? If we allow
cell phone towers at all (Bodega Bay has no service) we have to disguise them into a
fake tree or something . A tower in itself is just a clean artifact that is pretty innocuous,
but these trees, they must cost a fortune, which of course, we will pay for in our service.
They do not appear to be anything like the nearby trees, they are the wrong color, the
wrong shape, and a totally wrong idea!
We have become the keeper of the flame of fake shit, e.i. every local tourist bus is a
terrible reproduction of a SF cable car, every little tourist train is a crappy little white
replica of a choo choo train. (Although I have to admit, they have the same damn train
in Marsielle).

DICTIONARY
Bourgeoise = Commercial Class, a Capitalist, that’s us, folks!
Bolsheviks = The majority who seized power (Bush II)
Proletarian = Workers of the World, Unite!

THE SACRED DEFENSE (OFFENSE) BUDGET
There are rumblings from the White House that to reduce spending we may even
take a look at our Defense Budget of 700 Billion a year. What? Reduce our hundreds of
bases around the world? Stop building our Posh Palaces of Embassies around the
world? What madness is this? How are we to keep our Empire together if we reduce
the massive spending? What kind of crazy ideas would we use the money for? A health
care system similar to most of the other developed countries? Maybe we could increase
THE WAR ON DRUGS, or THE WAR ON POVERTY! (But never a WAR on WAR!).
But let’s be real, we are so embedded in a Military-Industrial Complex our citizens
would never go for it. Why? Because we have too many citizen workers who make a
good living off military spending. Why are we still building zillion dollar aircraft carriers,
zillion dollar nuclear submarines? How is it that these giant machines help in door to
door guerrilla fighting which is the closest thing we get to fighting these days. I know
why we build super fighter jets, so we can sell them to other countries so everyone can
stay on a war mentality. I believe we don’t count the money it takes to care for our
wounded, amputees for the rest of their lives, which may be 50 years as most wounded
are about 20 years old. Bush didn’t include the costs of his two wars in the budget, at
least Obama includes it. How do we justify we spend nearly 50% of the entire world’s
defense spending? That’s a pretty big stick, isn’t it? And if you believe we can impose
a republican government on a middle eastern country that has been killing each other’s
clans and tribes for thousands of years, you’ve been smoking the good stuff.

BOOK REPORT
I’ve just finished (for the second time) THE SABRES OF PARADISE by L. Blanch. It’s
the story of Shamyl, an incredible warrior and leader of the fight against the Russians
in about 1850 who wanted to wrest the Caucasus from the mountain people. I guess
we never learn as the fight is reminiscent of our current wars in Iraq & Afghanistan. The
Russians had unlimited fighters with all the latest technology (Cannons, guns, etc.)
while the Tchechins had only sabres & old rifles but an indomitable spirit to defend their
towns in nearly inaccessible mountain country. Of course, the biggest help was they
were driven by a fanatic religion called Islam. This incredible war went on for 25 years,
during which hundreds of thousands died on both sides, (some very painfully) including
women and children. This was called collateral damage. Sound familiar?
I also learned the word “Bistro” came from the Russian officers who were in a hurry
when stopping at a small café and hollering “Bistro” which means “hurry!”. This should
get me a free glass of wine from Mathew of Underwood bar & Bistro here in Graton.

DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME

HOW TO GET MARRIED THE HARD WAY

In 1988, bereft any reason, I made a deal with Joy to get us to Greece if I agreed to marriage. Joy was keeping a pretty tight leash on me and after her divorce we decided for some insane reason to find out how difficult it would be to get married in Greece. Being a fan of Socrates and Plato, I really needed to walk on the same stones they did in the Agora so many thousand years ago. We prepared months ahead before embarking for Greece by visiting the Greek Embassy in San Francisco, filling out several long forms. When we did arrive in Athens for only two weeks, we began a long round of searching out various public buildings, then the American Embassy, waiting in lines, buying small postage like stamps that had a perforated corner that certain officials would tear off and keep. Never did know what that was all about. At one point we had to find the Athens newspaper, place an ad about our impending fiasco, then wait a couple of days to search thru the paper where the want ads and notices all look alike to try and find our notice. They don’t use the same alphabet as it looks similar to Russian, but we finally spotted the name of my father, Harry, kind of written mostly in English. That tipped us off and we cut it out and ran (well, took a bus) back to the official who told us we would have to wait a month as they only marry folks once a month. This was not becoming fun anymore, why didn’t we just go to Tijuana Mexico where we could do the whole thing in an hour? During our panic period (We were scheduled to get to France) we were told by someone that one of the suburban towns might be able to do it. A friend called around and found that the town of Palio Pasihiko would be able to do the deed.
We found the town, a suburb of Athens, where the town hall was in an older mansion. Fortunately a Brit expat worked there as a secretary and she really got excited about the whole affair as she didn’t think they had ever had a wedding there. Bully! However, the Mayor could do it but wouldn’t be back for a week .That would work, as we wanted to stay on the idyllic island of Santorini anyway. We’ll be back in a week.
We trained to Piraeus, the ancient port nearby and caught a huge ferry to the island, checked into the Atlantis Hotel, the largest there. It didn’t take us but a few hours to realize there was an idyllic small Hotel Fira, cascading over the edge of the caldera for the same price. We bailed out of the Atlantis, hired a donkey to carry our bags down to our new fabulous digs. Here we stayed for a week sipping Ouzo, watching the tiny cruise ships a thousand feet straight down in the caldera.
During this time all was not bliss as we had to fill out more papers, where we ran into a couple of snags. Number one, you can’t get married more than three times and there was some concern of how many times I was. This would be my third. The next problem, in this Catholic nation, Joy and I had written Atheist and agnostic under religion. We quickly changed our status and although this would be my third, it was barely OK. Fortunately, we had spent a lot of time in a local cantina and befriended the owner, Papadakulas, who had the hots for Joy,(Shirley Valentine?) whose wife worked in the American Embassy in Athens. She managed to straighten the mess out and by the time we got back to Athens, everything was cool.
The mayor duly wed us, although he spoke no English, with the secretary spouting “Bully!” every few minutes. A short ceremony, I signed the document after Mr. Mayor, and Joy stepped up to the desk to sign but was rebuffed, the mayor looking at her as if she was crazy and informed us the wife does not participate to that extent. Oh well, at least we did the whole thing, Joy will just have to learn to walk ten feet behind me. Time to get out of Dodge as our boat to Brindisi, Italy is due to shove off that evening. We ran to the nearest taxi stand, a couple of blocks, where there stood several Mercedes. However, today was a smog day in Athens and only even numbered taxis were allowed in the city, and all these at this stand were odd numbered. We were frothing at the mouth by the time they found out we were newlyweds, made some calls, and got one to come by and directly pick up our bags at the hotel and drive the hundred kilometers to the port of Patras. It’s really hot in summer Greece and our driver kept falling asleep at the wheel. I had to constantly holler at him, punch him on the arm, to keep him awake long enough to get us to the port.
We arrived just in time to find out that the ship company was on strike . It would be hours before they got that resolved and were admitted to a small, Spartan stateroom with a couple of small bunks. We sailed off into the sunset, stopping at Corfu where Joy tossed her flower tiara onto the waters of the harbor. That was just too romantic!
However, the worst was over, and the happy couple pretty much lived happily ever after, bickering majestically.

WORLD CHUMPS

ALLAH
Einstien believes in -Spinoza’s God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists (laws), not in a God who concerns himself with fates and actions of human beings.

JUDGE JUDY
I’ve always wondered how she worked. Well, here’s the skinny from my humorous friend Judge Beds. First of all, she is not a judge. Her parties agree to take their case out of the court system & have them heard by Judy. This is all small claims stuff. This is like how a mediation or arbitrations works, except in her case, the show pays all the claims (small claims is what now? $5,000 max.?),. Naturally, there is no shortage of “contestants” as they can’t loose, even if they lose. And I guess there are lots of shows that emulate hers. The California Commission on Judicial Performance gets more complaints about Ms Judy than all the other judges in the state combined, but she’s not under their jurisdiction. She probably makes more money than all of the combined judges also in the state.

HERE’S GOOD NEWS (Belatedly)
The struggle for our minds is not only here in the U.S. The Christians and Muslims are just as active over there.
On October, 2007, the Council of Europe’s Parliamentary Assembly approved a resolution recommending that it’s member governments oppose the teaching of creationism as science. The creationist movements possess real political power, especially here in US. The fact of the matter is that some advocates of strict creationsm are out to replace democracy by a theocracy. We must remain vigilant! (God willing?).

BELATED SURPRISE
I was apprenticing with architect DK Taylor during 1958 in Scottsdale, AZ and did work on the drawings of the O’Conner house,( mostly the details). As far as I remember, this was the only project Don was able to get built, except for the concrete deck panels for the Westward Ho Hotel in Scottsdale. Also, I built the model for their house (An earlier version) which FLL Wright saw in the window of Don’s office and commended me on my work, which pretty much stoked me.
This is all pretty trippy as just last week I started reading “CLOSED CHAMBERS” an insider’s view of the workings of the Supreme Court as I wanted to know more about how it Worked and the part Sandra Day O’Conner had in it.
Also thought you’d get a kick out of the house I worked on for Paolo, surrounded with his future. I was paid a dollar an hour from Paolo, then paid it back to Taylor so I could work for him due to some complicated work laws we were doing. Of course, this was the economic model I used for the rest of my career.
I’m interested to know why & how they moved the entire house, adobe blocks and all to another location at the Arizona Historical Society. At the time, I didn’t know Sandra Day O’Conner was the wife of the client, John Jay.

MUSLIM DICTIONARY (From Allah, the beneficient and most merciful)
I’ve learned a couple of new words while reviewing the Koran.
Lapidation Stoning her to death
Imurred House arrest for life.

PALIN?
A politician is one who promises you a bridge, when there is no river.

JUSTICE FROM THE SLUMS OF BOMBAY
Justice is a judgement that is both fair and forgiving. Justice is not done until everyone is satisfied, even those who offend us and must be punished by us. Justice is not only the way we punish those who do wrong. It is also the way we try to save them.

SCULPTOR’S DILEMMA
Have you ever tried to capture the essence of flame in a solid material ? Bertoli did a pretty good job of the flame held in the Statue of Liberty’s torch, a replica which stands in a small square in Paris. (Just the cold leafed flame. I spent endless hours stoned in Big Sur before attempting a 6 foot high concrete flame. It stood in front of Deetjin’s Big Sur Inn for many years.

FOUCAULT’S PENDULUM
Like the one at the SF Academy of Sciences. I observed his original one at the Musee des Arts & Mietiers in Paris a couple of years ago. . He built this in the old Pantheon church dome with a 67 meter wire and a 28 kg bob in 1851. This was the first proof that the earth was round and rotated every 24 hours. I never was able to figure out why this was the proof until today (Eureka!) . All I had to do was Google ”About Foucault’s Pendulum” to find the answer. Essentially, the pendulum ball does not move in a circle but the floor (And the tutelage, ergo, process earth, of course) rotates! in San Francisco, it rotates 220 degrees in 24 hours. At the poles it rotates 360 degrees in 24 hours, while at the equator, there is no rotation. The real trick was at the top where Foucault put a magnetic ring that keeps it going (It switches on & off each swing) to overcome air resistance as it is not in a vacuum .

COOKIN’
Anthony Bourdan, the chef, is promoting the idea that every boy and girl should be taught basic cooking skills in high school. He feels it should be one of our fundamental skills, like crossing the street or being trusted with money. As I’m learning some of these skills late in life, I realize what a wonderful asset that would have been in my life. During my high school days, girls were taught “Home Ec” or how to open cans and stuff. Until it became a glaring illustration of everything wrong with gender politics, and finally rejected. Now, no one cooks. At college, knowing how to cook would be a real method for impressing your classmate to get them in bed. (Foreplay!) And what better way, in the morning, to make a simple, beautiful omelet for her.
Things kids need to know are such basic skills as chopping an onion (Although most of our young Chicanos are pretty proficient at this). Rudimentary knife handling, sharpening,

THE GRATON DECAPITATION SOCIETY
When I discovered my client, Harry, had a plethora of bottles of champagne of questionable pedigree, and simultaneously that my friend Dodson knew how to break into a bottle of champagne, just like the Lieutenants of Napoleon’s Grand Armee, I got a small group together to observe the process. Under the expert tutelage of Bill, each of us wacked off the head of a bottle of old champagne, about half of which were drinkable. From now on, I think I’ll use that method instead of agonizingly trying to extricate the cork, to get at the bubbly.

BIG FROG IN SMALL POND
What do you mean, WORLD CHAMPIONS? Are we Americans so out of touch with reality that we believe our Empire is the world? These left over from high school games, these ball games (Base, Foot, Basket, etc,) are only played here in the US, which is a tiny portion of the America’s and a smaller portion of the world. Your Giants are not World Champs, but merely National Champs as this game is basically not taken seriously anywhere else on the Globe. Now the Soccer World games are exactly that, they have teams from all over the planet, (Actually even a bunch of losers from the US). The winner of those games are truly WORLD CHAMPIONS.

INVENTIONS

INVENTIONS
Architect’s have to be very inventive as so many of the details of a building are unique and basically have to be invented.
I’ve compiled a comprehensive list of inventions that were pretty important way before the year one (Before my time). This kind of stuff is really interesting to me and I don’t know if anyone else is interested, but I do offer a small segment of it to whet your appetite.

CHRONOLOGY OF INVENTIONS by J.L. Langworthy
-1,000,000+ Control of Fire (a biggie)- Europe
-30,000 Axe head - Europe
Maniac squeezer - South America
Boomerang - Australia
Toggle-Joint Harpoon - Eskimo
Axe handle
-8000 Agriculture
Blow-gun
Tobacco Pipe - Sumer
You’ll have to get the rest from me if you want to know what happens next.

WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO
In between my Blogging I try to keep busy doing architecture. I seem to be able to keep most of it a secret, inadvertently, but it’s time to come out of the Design Closet. The following are some of the work I’ve been doing recently.

PALM SPRINGS RESIDENCE 4,600 SF About $2.500,000
This was a preliminary design for a couple for a lot adjacent to a golf course. The garages for cars and golf cart is set in a driveway court (With a Moroccan color scheme) as it also offers extra parking for guests. A small casita is a separate building for guests. Exterior finish is EIFS over plywood base to fend off stray golf balls. Also large doors and windows off the patios are protected with a sun-screen with adjustable baffles for sun control in the blistering summers. The entry walk bridges a lap pool with a glass floor. Ceiling heights reflect the importance of each area, from 8' to 20'.

DRIFTWOOD RD. SALMON CREEK, Addition & renovations 495 SF+ 246 SF addition $300,000 budget
An old 1970's structure with no real bedroom and only a 5' galley kitchen and minimal bath but in a prime location next to a state park and beach. We added a small bedroom with laundry, inserted a new kitchen in the odd bay and under the existing stairs, also expanding the tiny bash into the old kitchen area. New roofing, insulation, cedar siding inside and out, all new fenestration and mechanical systems, a small gas stove as the only heat, copper gutters, black slate floors throughout except for the bedroom. New septic system.


MIWOK RD.. SALMON CREEK Bodega Bay Addition & renovation 800 SF+ 450 SF addition $280,000
An expanding family living in a 1980's house needs to add bedrooms and baths to accommodate the couple and two young girls. In an area of strict zoning and septic restraints, 480 SF is the maximum allowed addition of conditioned area. We have proposed a new carport (Cantilevered roof) a garage for a boat and small workshop as well as the bedroom & bath additions. As the existing roof is termite infested, we will replace it with an undulating roof that will continue over the new work. Light tan colored rock will emulate the nearby sand dunes at the beach. A new septic system has been installed, and Coastal Commission approval is being sought, which will take about three months.

GRANNY UNIT Graton , Renovation 384 SF $22,000
Legalizing a non-conforming very small studio granny unit. Upgrade this old ‘70's hippy shack to current code required a foundation, new bath & kitchen, interior finishes, new windows & doors.

LYSTER RESIDENCE Laguna Beach, CA 4,700 SF $3,000,000 estimate
A steep angled uphill lot for a couple and their teen age daughter has severe building envelope restrictions but is finally under construction after two and a half years it took to obtain Design Review approval from an anal city review process. Based upon a triangular grid, all exposed framing is cris-crossed on the grid. On four levels, beginning with a four car underground garage, the second level has the entry for walk up from the street plus a studio and guest room above the garage. The third level contains the two bedrooms and a music room, while the fourth level contains the living, dining and kitchen areas, which have a fine view of downtown Main Beach of Laguna. Low pitched roofs are within one inch of the “Building Envelope”. A large percentage of the roof area is planted to conform to strict run-off rules. Exposed steel, re-sawn timbers, glass and rough finished stucco are the main materials. Originally an inclined lift was proposed to get from garage to the kitchen, but had to be abandoned due to too many code restrictions. (I had used inclinators extensively in Laguna). Instead, we had to use two elevators in a stepped mode in order to keep within the height limit imposed on the site.

ZERO TOLERANCE

ZERO TOLERANCE & the Secret War
The concept of zero tolerance seems to be a result of writing laws that cannot predict all the ramifications of a particular area. Take for instance, HC accessability, an area where I am an unwilling participant, as most architects and builders are.
I am always amazed when I see taxpayer’s money (mine) squandered mostly due to a few greedy people (parasites) feeding on our fear of being sued due to some minor infractions of handicap accessability issues.
But, there is always someone to interpret our poorly written laws to line their pockets, and unfortunately they have the backing of the Department of Justice of the United States. Try fighting that battle.
The thing that really bugs me is all this stuff seems to be secret. What do they want other than money? We all want to conform to the ADA laws, but not to do unreasonable, expensive and unnecessary work due to ambiguous laws. Is it true that the state has recently adopted new HC laws that will result in the Justice Dept. Will lean on the Dept. Of Transportation who will lean on the county public works, etc...to build a $40,000 parking space in Graton when in reality, there was only a few inches out of conformance (Might as well be 20 feet). All the sidewalk ramps in the state (or all 52 states) are to be replaced due to a small redesign? I realize our government does not understand or care about such mundane concepts as “Cost benefit ratios” which means that the costs of something should be related to the benefits derived , not so open ended that the results will cost untold, yes, un-calculated, not even considered, millions and billions. Meanwhile, our roads are falling apart and we can’t afford to repair them.
I’ve already watched, as you have, cities jack hammer up lots of curb ramps to replace those that are not in conformance with the new regulations. And probably, will have to torn up in the near future, to conform to some ever changing guidelines. It is a pretty blatant how some lobbyists working for the folks who make the yellow knobby pads that are now required on all intersections got to our lawmakers to change the handicap laws so they had to use the pads. This means tearing up all the old curb ramps and replacing them with new ones.
How much does it really cost to replace each ramp? City engineers won’t tell me but I’m hearing about $5,000 per ramp. Who pays for all this? We do! Does anyone care? Am I the only one?

PEDESTRIANS
So many young people are getting hurt and killed in crosswalks, I began to wonder why. But then, I began to observe how youths go about crossing a street. I’ve been surprised how some get into a crosswalk and feel as if they’d entered a force shield as they totally ignore the machines around them. They are so complacent they believe no vehicle can penetrate the sacred zone where they tread. Allow me to offer a suggestion. Send all teenagers to Rome for a week, let them walk around the city and if they survive the no holds barred traffic streams in the crazy Italian method, then upon their return you can bet they will look upon any vehicle in sight to be a potential threat to their very life and limb to maybe pay a little more attention and to drivers who are paying even less attention.

COPING IN HARD TIMES
Please revisit my recipe for Depression Dinner in my Blog “Misery Revisited”.
Meanwhile, I’ll pass on a few more tips on how to survive this second depression (for me anyway).
1. I like a glass of Port after dinner like the next gentleman, but the good Spanish stuff is over $20 a bottle and my favorite Australian Tawny Ports are over $12 a bottle. Biting the bullet, I buy a local Fairbanks Port (from Modesto) in a 1.5 litre bottle for $7. I decant this into a saved good empty bottle of Morgado Porto or Presidential Porto, as it is easier to pour out of a small .75 litre bottle. Then I don’t think any more of it and pour myself a small glass of my “vintage” port (and for my guests).
2. Keeping my office expenses down is a big part of my life since I virtually have no work during these hard times. With two printers, one fax, a big copier and a large plotter, ink cartridges are a big expense. Fortunately, my local Ace Hardware store and our local Whole Food Market are able to supply me with refilled cartridges for one third to one half the price of a new one. You have to plan a head a little as it may take a few days to get you ink jets back.
3. Lunch - In the good old days (About two years ago) I used to get out to the local cafe, (Underwood Bistro) and have a wonderful salad with a couple of glasses of wine almost every day. I even had a tab there! Well, those halcyon days are long gone and I’ve managed to come up with an alternate solution to the problem. The inspiration was when one of my artist tenants, Becker, gave me a case of really good wine, mostly Pinot Noir. I would tell a friend that if he brought over a couple of sandwiches, I would have a couple of fabulous wines for us (Fabulous in my book means $40/bottle). When the wine gave out I changed my tactics to ask them to bring over a bottle of red and I would have a fabulous sandwich for us. This system is working smoothly and sometimes I add a quick visit to France or Italy via my snapshot of architectural wonders on a big screen during our repast, since we can’t get to Europe right now..

ROADSIDE MEMORIALS
A recent invention, leaving plastic flowers, balloons, and other trash where someone has been killed. Who is supposed to clean up all this shit? Similar to “Outpouring of grief” for celebrities whom one had never met of known the person. A prime example was Di’s over reacting was the humongous pile of rotting flowers and debris left by all the “grieving” citizens. Her only accomplishment was divorcing Charlie (Good move) and shacking up with an Arab zillionaire (Good move #2).

WAITERS - who say “No problem”. Does that mean they anticipate one as a usual event? There better not be a problem. Also waiters who have to tell me their names. Yeah, well, I’m Lamont and I’ll be you very small tipper if you keep up this buddy bullshit!

WINE TANK IMPLOSION!
Pictured is a 40,000 gal wine tank that recently was crushed by that unknown force, vacuum in our neighborhood. Seems a tanker truck got too close and scraped off the valve and access port. As all the wine gushed out it created a vacuum so strong it crushed the stainless steel tank like a dixie cup. About three million for the wine and several thousand for the tank. Winemakers have to be careful even when transferring wine out of the tanks as they have to remember to open a vent valve on top to alleviate any vacuum. This actually does happen occasionally. Workers were able to contain the wine and keep it from getting into a nearby creek and get all the fish drunk. That’s one thing I like about living in this area, when I see a tanker truck drive by, it more than likely will be full of wine instead of gasoline

MERCHANT OF DEATH CAPTURED!
Back in June I noted Viktor Bout was the “Merchant of Death” and was selling weapons in competition with the US (We are the world’s largest purveyor). I read this morning he has been captured and the US wants to extradite him for trial here. This could get interesting as he was transporting equipment for the United States in Afghanistan as well as buying fuel from our armed forces for his old Russian planes so he could supply the Taliban. Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

U.S. SUPER BASES
More post-war help for the Iraqis due to the massive post-war building program we have ongoing in Irag. Take for instance, the new US Iraq Embassy - 21 buildings, 104 Acres - Bigger than Vatican, and of course, the cost is kind of secret but probably in the billions. This whole thing is supposed to be secret, but things leak out. Like it’s the largest in the world,, One billion and only 1/3 complete - For staff of 8,000 workers!
ALSO!
We are building Four Super bases in Iraq - $230 mill. Each for 55,000 soldiers
Biggest base = 15 square miles “Country Club” status, with pools, golf links, movie theaters, etc.

SERIOUS THOUGHT
One has to have a soul in order to suffer in Hell, Purgatory, or be happy in Heaven.
So at some point in our evolution we invented our “soul” in order to be threatened with one or the other. (Oh, no!, Don’t let me go to Heaven!).
If we knew where we came from before we were born, we would know where we were going when we die in the afterlife. I mean before crawling out of mom.
Inequalities of life - All men (women, too) are not created equal as we are led to believe. We may be sort of equal under the law, but that’s about it. Some are born slaves, idiots, genius, prodigies. Some with monumental talent, some just morons and vegetables. Some are lawyers or polititions. Some cultures threw them back (like the AmerIndians).
If animals don’t have a “soul”, when did man get one as he evolved from the chimpanzee?
Soul - The essence (not material) of a being that continues after one ’s body dies. From low to high? Stone to man? Anything higher than Man? To re-incarnate?

RELIGION DICTIONARY
Since most of the world’s wars are religion based, we should keep up on our daffynitions.
Omnipresent - Present in all places at all times
Omniscient - Infinite awareness, understanding
Omnipotent - Unlimited influence,
Ecumenical - World wide influence, Christian unity
Theist - Believes in a God.
Deist- Advocates natural religion based on human reason rather than revelation.
Atheist - Denies the existence of a supreme being.
Agnostic - A person who does not deny the possible existence of a God but holds that his existence and the origin of the universe are not known and probably cannot be known.
Gentile - A non-Jew or non-Mormon
Circumcision - From Egyptian tombs, Jews came from Egypt, ergo, brought it to the lucky Arabs and the rest of the world. 30% of all males got it. (Not me!). This was an obvious method to keep Jewish girls to know if they were having sex with a Jewish boy. (Until the Catholic boys started getting cut also). This is so cruel, how about just tattooing a symbol on our dicks?
Soul - The spiritual part of man believed to give life to his body and in many religions regarded as immortal.

MISCELLANEOUS
Miracles - Blind to see, Talking snakes, Garden of Eden, Dead to life, virgin birth,
Most are taken from previous myths of older and out of style Gods.

DOUBLE SPEAK
Prison - Correctional Facility
Prison Hospital - Correctional Facility Hospital
Dump - Refuse Disposal Site
Sebastopol Police Services - Police
Patriot’s Act - Orwell couldn’t have done better
Freedom Tower’s - Let Freedom Ring! We are so frustrated because we weren’t attacked by a country, just some freaky religionist fundamentalists. But we found a couple of countries that needed to be destroyed, nevertheless. (And the had Oil!).

POLITICAL DICTIONARY
Republic - Representative Democracy, as opposed to Direct Democracy.
Republic - Head of State (President, Prime Minister) appointed by elections.
Constitutional Law put limits on power (Sometimes).
Problem of corruption (Always).
Hegemony - Dominance over another

GOALS FOR TOTAL WORLD CONTROL (This’ll be for your own good). The following groups make it pretty evident what their ultimate goal is:

Communism
Islam
Christianity
Atheism (My choice!, but I’m not going to kill anyone over it.)

POST WWII Most countries needed small, cheap cars, here are some that appeared.
Japan - Subaru 360 (Copied Fiat)
East Germany(Russia) - Trabant (A piece of shit)
Germany - VW bug (It’ll never sell in US)
France - Citroen 2CV (My choice!)
Italy - Fiat 500 (Joy’s dream car)
US - Cadillac (We don’t need no steenking small cars)


EARTH LIFE
Planet Earth has only about 5.43 billion years left. About 10,000 years until next Ice Age.

EUROPE DESIGN

MR. COFFEE
I finally got thru to corporate headquarters and talked to an actual representative of the company about the design deficiencies of my espresso machine. I just wanted to give them some follow up regarding their machine I had just purchased, although superior in some ways to my now abandoned Krups Espresso machine. It was really helpful that they said the conversation was being recorded, I said I didn’t give a shit about that. First of all, their two handles to operate the thing are shaped in such a peculiar, non-ergonomic way that I found it impossible to use. (See my previous Blog where I showed “There, I’ve fixed it”). I also wanted to point out that the water filler hole is mostly blocked be the valve mechanism resulting in water splashing all over when filling. (Although if I was left handed it could work fairly well). Another improvement would be to round off the left hand portion of the machine over the coffee cup to reflect the movement required to tighten the cup handle (left to right). Do these people really use industrial designers or just get some kid out of college to cobble a design together? Anyway, when I finally did talk to Mrs. Coffee about some feedback from an actual user, she said they did not have that capability. How in hell do they know about any design problems? When people stop buying the damn things due to some really stupid features? What is happening? First Krups wasn’t interest and I had the same thing with even Subaru. I’m just going to give up trying to help these companies.

TRAVELS WITH LAMONT

EUROPE ENGINEERING WORKS - When Joy & I get to Europe, we try to visit some outstanding engineering project. Here is a partial list of some of our favorite spots.

TIDAL ELECTRICAL GENERATION Brittany?
On one of our trips to France, we discovered a pretty far out and progressive electrical generating system that uses tidal movements for generation. This is situated in a large estuary near Dinard and St. Malo, just South of Mont St. Michael. As the tides flow in or out, it passes thru a long series of turbines that lie beneath the road bridge. All this is incorporated in a bridge which runs on top of it. When the tide changes, letting the water in or out of the estuary, the turbine blades rotate and generate electricity. Each turbine is about 8' in diameter, one of the few drawbacks is the corrosive salt water on the equipment.,
I had some great photos of this but my camera was ripped off in Antwerp.. The turbines are reversible, of course, to take advantage of in and out tides. This has been in operation for about 30 years, the only drawbacks are the salt water on all the equipment. There is one lock that allows all the small water craft access thru the dam & roadway.

MIDI CANAL France
This was the first canal built in the 1600's to link the Atlantic and the Mediterranean.
The Architect Pierre Riquet solved the main problem of how to replenish the locks as they were emptied to let the barges pass. He built a huge reservoirs at the highest places as rains (even in summer) would keep them full. There are a about a hundred locks from near the top down to sea level. Joy & I rented this small “Barge” with just the two of us and it was a lot of work navigating all the locks by ourselves (We prefer another couple to help). That’s probably why I fell in a lock for the first time. At one point there are a series of seven locks, like a staircase. It takes a while to get everyone up and down these but sometime after the War (II) a side lock was built to accommodate the 120' long canal barges. This is a tilted channel with a sliding gate that is high enough for the barge. It is operated by this monestrous moveable machine pictured..

ROTTERDAM BARRIER Rotterdam, Holland
The largest man made moveable object on earth, the Maastracht Barrier is a mind boggling structure. It consists of two floating gates, anchored to at ball joint about 30' in diameter (Ten meters to you). The struts are about 12' diameter and each gate is as long as the Eiffel Tower is high (About a thousand feet). This allows the Dutch to close off the Rhine River when the North Sea gets too high and can protect the harbor from flooding. The barrier can hold back about 9 feet of the north sea, but then they have to be able to let the river water out too, so you figure out the math, I can’t

FIRTH OF FORTH BRIDGE Edinburgh, Scotland
This is an oldie but a goodie. Built after the previous rail bridge was lost with an entire train in 1860, this bridge is going nowhere. The main support tubes consist of bent iron plates riveted together to form about 12' diameter. This was built about the same time as Roebling’s Brooklyn Bridge and is slightly shorter in span but has to withstand winds much higher than the Roeblings. This bridge has so much iron to paint that entire families spend their lives on it. The term “Like Painting the Forth Bridge” means it will never get done.


FALKIRK WHEEL Near Edinburgh, Scotland
Proving that the Scots haven’t lost their genius for engineering and everything else, this contrivance replaces 10 locks joining two canal systems. It operates like a Ferris wheel with two buckets of water. Four boats enter the upper bucket while four more load in the lower one. Some ingenious gates are close and the whole thing rotates around till the upper tubs are on bottom to unload. Always a balanced load, a 13 HP motor moves it all. There is a swell restaurant below where we had a sandwich and a glass of Gallo wine, while we watched the rovolutions thru the glass roof.

HOLLAND INFLATABLE DAM Somewhere along our canal route from Sneek to Amsterdam, Holland
On our Dutch canal trip we approached a very peculiar structure. Wonderful in design, we finally realized it was two ends of a very large inflatable dike. Each end was a four story building where control rooms operated the whole thing. This probably doesn’t get used but every few months or years, meanwhile the tube rests on the bottom of the canal, which at this point is really a river. Before we embarked on our boat, I explained in detail to our new boat mates the intricacies of negotiating locks that were 15 feet deep. In actuality, the deepest lock we went thru in Holland was only 18 inches drop!

EIFFEL VIADUCT - Brier, France
Canals once in a while have to cross over a road or another canal and in few cases, a river. Such is the case with the canal that crosses the Loire River just before it enters Brier. Constructed in 1897, it features the longest such viaduct in France, 663 meters. Gustav Eiffel was the engineer on the piers but strangely, not the steel members that span between them. These canals are only about six feet deep and of course, you all remember your physics class that any boat will displace an equal amount of water.

LA DEFENSE BUILDING Paris, France
This building is so spectacular that we have to repeatedly visit it. Paris is a city that has a certain height limit for any buildings due to an unfortunate high rise called the Black Tower. Everyone was so incensed about it that they outlawed anything more that about seven stories, the usual old Paris building height. This was due to the fact that no one would walk up more than seven stories. Most elevators have been retro-fitted in all the buildings after it was invented in about 1850. However, in their infinite wisdom, Parisian planners designed new city areas on the outskirts of Paris so you can build really tall skyscrapers. La Defense, amazingly, is a government building, with its huge hole in the middle, giant monumental stairway (No handrails, please), glass external elevators and the “Clouds” designed by an artist to kind of fill the hole.

PONT DU GARD Somewhere near Avignon, France
Back to the good old days when you had lots of slaves, the Romans designed a water system for their camps in Southern France(Gaul). This viaduct, one of the largest and best preserved, still could serve the use it was for which it was originally conceived. Just to get water from one side of a small river to the other sometimes stressed the Roman engineers, but did not deter them. It was a combination roadway, and waterway, and the size of the stones are impressive, hard enough to weather only little in the last two millenniums.

MILLEU VIADUCT Milleu, France
Back to the 21st century, here is the world’s most beautiful bridge. Recently completed, designed by Richard Rogers (Of Pompidue Center in Paris), a truly awesome achievement. Perched on several towers span a deep gorge, it replaced a treacherous and very dangerous highway portion of a highway from Paris to the South of France. The highest concrete tower is as high as the Eiffel tower, 1,000 feet. Amazingly, it was designed & constructed in about four years, For a cost of only 600 million Euros. The French, being a socialist country, Bids project out like this to private companies (we do it with our socialistic CalTrans), who in turn hire the architect as part of the team. The winner then builds it (with his financing) and owns it and runs it for seventy years, when they turn it over to the government. The steel roadway was built in the Ukraine, and trucked to the site, erected by pushing it out to the towers.

CONTEMPORARY ARCHITECTURE

CARR RESIDENCE

I'm just finishing a wonderful medium sized residence in Graton are for the world's best client. I knew if I stayed with this long enough I would encounter him. Harry Carr is a doctor here in Sonoma County, a batchelor who has a rare affliction, good taste in design. 2400 square foot with three bedrooms, the house has three heating/AC zones, ceiling heights that vary with the use (Basic 8'' general, 10' at kitchen & Master Bedroom, 14' at Living & Dining). Cedar celilings at high areas. Interiors are cherry floors with black slate at higher use areas. All cabinets are cherry. Joy & I have been able to help with the furniture specifying as well as designing a few major pieces (In cherry, of course). We used a single ply membrane on the roof, EIFS (Exterior Insulation Insulation System) for exterior walls, with redwood trim and trellising. Incredibally, the cost of the house came in at $256 per square foot, an amazing cost for this area considering we used the best appliances and fixtures available.

All lavs have wood countertops, which I like to use, except for granite in the kitchen. The house sits on a west facing slope overlooking vinyards and apple orchards.

THERE, I'VE FIXED IT
I've used the Krupps espresso maker for 20 years. My third one failed after many years of service so I bought a new one for $60. after a few months, the valve was difficult to use so I returned it to the store and they gave me a new one. Lo and behold, the same thing happened after another few months so I tried to let Krupps know of the problem. Well, this day & age, companies don't seem to want to hear anything negative about their product, and after trying on their web site, calling them, etc. to make them aware of this problem, I gave up. I returned it again, got my mony back, went over to Target and bought a Mr. Espresso for $25. (Actually $24.99). This machine is just the basic coffee maker with milk steamer like the Krupps, except not quite so cool looking. But it actually has a few features that are superior to Krupps. However, there is a major flaw in their design as the knobs are of some really weird design that actually hurt my fingers to operate it. In lieu of tossing the whole godamn thing out I, being the ultimate do it you selfer, decided I could make it funtional without too much trouble. I simply screwed on two plywood discs to the knobs, added a bit of epoxy, and viola! it works better than my old Krupps. Of course, I will paint them black and all will be well with my morning espresso.

I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!

Harley Davidson motor noise machines. These miserable people that need to assert their idiocy on the rest of the population ought to be neutered so they can't reproduce anymore. Then maybe in a generation we (If we still have any hearing left) can spend the rest of our days in peace. My house is several hundred feet from a minor highway and although I do hear all the cars passing by,, it's mostly the air and rubber that I hear. But there is always some fool ripping by with his no muffler Harley blasting a noise path thru the neighborhood. I perceive these egotists at the center of a decibil monster that is a circle several hundred feet in diameter destroying the peaceful lives of us tranquel folk. I cannot imagine what is must be to live in a place like Richmond, Virginia, where they passed an Ordinance making it illegal to "cause a disturbance" that can be heard 50 feet away from the noise source. Now, I know that nut cases like Sarah Palin wouldn't let government intrude on our lives like that, but I'm all for it, and give those folks a medal who passed the ordinance on top of it. Of course, then you have to battle the ACLU that you're taking away the rights of others to fuck up the life of your neighbors.

VACATION TIME, AGAIN

Oh yeah. But we're not going anywhere soon.

All I've got are some memoriesw of Europe so I 'll just regurgatate some of those in lieu of actually being there. We always get in a weeks canal cruise which has become deriguer anytime we do play on the other side of the pond. It's pretty amazing that they will let you drive off in a $100,000 boat with only five minutes of instruction. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough on our cruise in North Holland as they didn't mention how to work the air conditioning (or that there even one was there) and we hit one of the hottest weeks in history. Joy & I shared the boot with two women from the East, but I was the capitan, of course, with my vast knowledge and experience on boats. I was a qualified submariner, you know. Pictured is our boat tied up in a small medievil town noth of Amsterdam, searching out a cold beer. Of course, these are not always strickly a canal trip as once in a while we found ourselves out in the middle of a huge inland sea (Zee). This kind of freaked Joy out but we soon realized that the water was only 3' deep if you miss the dredged waterway. We actually did ground once but got away without too much damage. If you choose this method of sightseeing, be sure to get a boat that has a BOW THRUSTER, a very important feature, especially when backing up to a dock. And always remember to duck when going under a low bridge.

BOOK REPORT

"Blowback" by Chalmers Johnson, lays out the dangers faced by our overextended Empire, which insists on projecting it's military power to every corner of the earth and using American capitol and markets to force global economic integration on it's own terms. This book, written a couple of years before 9/11, warned us of the consequences of our foreign policies that rely on a massive military presence in so many countries. His more recent book is "The Sorrows of Empire" to opens our eyes to our 800+ military bases around the world (We have 80 bases alone on Okinawa). We may be at a point where our military is so imbedded in our government it may be too late to regain control from them. Onward, Christian Soldiers!