74 A
SORRY
If you are
offended by my intellectual Pot- Porie, please let me know and I’ll not bother
you with a notice of any of my new blogs.
Believe it or not, my selection of friends from all over the world, is sometimes mis-directed.
ROBIN WILLIAMS REPLACEMENT?
Maybe I have
led a sheltered life, but I just came across a British comedienne, Eddie
Izzard -
With a name like that, he has to be a comedian. He thinks a lot like me but so much more
cleverly. His story of Noah & his
Ark may be better even than Cosby’s
classic. But don’t let his dressing up as a woman deter you.
CHERNOBLE!
I have mentioned years ago about the great shed they were
going to build over the destroyed hulk of Chernoble Nuclear Power plant in
Russia. Well, a world-wide consortium is in the middle of actually constructing
the thing. May be the largest movable object on earth. Go to Novarka and
find the site that has the computer graphics of the whole project. Then go to Borgues or Mammoet to see how they
skidded the mammoth roof. While you’re
doing all that see the National Geographics short “0 seconds from Disaster!”, showing why
the whole thing exploded and the dangers involved. My son (Zaidi) was at the
San Francisco Airport heading for Russia with a small theater group when they heard about it. They chanced it
(The show must go on!) and were not in the area near Kiev where the problem was.
SELF PUBLISHING
In case you are
unaware that I have self-published four books,
I want you to have a chance at any of them . However, the first one HILLSIDE HOMES may not
be available at a price you can afford, as It became some kind of a cult
classic and sold for a couple of hundred dollars on ebay for a while. I published 1,000 copies in 1980 the hard way,
writing it, designing the layout, getting the photos made in some weird format,
getting the color copies of the cover made, etc. etc., and putting it all
together to give to a print shop. But then I was faced with what to do with all
these books. This was all a lot of fun
as I could get the page size right, with a square format and a blank spot on
right edge for your thumb to capture the page (You just wouldn’t believe how
many design decisions go into something like this. Anyway, I ended up selling thru
Amazon, paying $8 to print each book and selling to them for $6. If you do the math you’ll see why I’m not
driving a BMW.
Later on, after
that, I managed to decypt on-line publishing. This is all done on line with no
actual contact with another human . The
real benefit is you can virtually order & print one at a time. I managed to publish ATELIER (the story of
renovating an old apple processing plant into Artists Studios) and THE LITTLE
BOOK OF BIG TRUCKS (I just LOVE European big rigs!), as well as THE EDUCATION
OF AN ARCHIITECT (Kind of a bio on getting into the design business, but a
little bit dirty). You can get most of
them on LULU direct or give me a call.
LAMONT'S SUICIDE HOT LINE!
How to kill yourself cleanly, not
the Heming-way(Swallow the shotgun, probably the worse case scenario for you’re miserable relatives and friends). Most,
if not all of these so-called suicide hot lines are set up to talk you out of
killing yourself. We, @ my Hotline, have a different program, convincing you to
kill yourself without leaving a terrible, disgusting mess for others. I just
can’t imagine what people like Hemingway were thinking when they put a shotgun
in their mouth to blow their brains, skull all over a room. What does that say
about how he had no concern or respect for the poor bastards (family?) who had
to clean up this whole, disgusting mess? Now, I’m no expert, but I’ve found a
couple of folks who exited this miserable life cleanly. I found a guy hanging
in a Berkeley apartment once who had tied a ceiling light fixture cord around
his neck, then kicked the chair out. Now you would think this was OK, but he
had bloody ooze hanging out of his nose, in a long disgusting string. Yuck! But
now, my recommendation is to pull up a nice comfortable chair in your garage (a
Barka Lounger is perfect), Close up any vents to the outside, Start your
inefficient car, set down and sleep right on off this planet. This results in a
minimum mess. However, I do understand that when your body dies, it releases
your bowels & bladder so be aware to wear Depends or equal. This assumes of
course, you have left the inevitable suicide Note. Now, as an added
service, I have several Suicide Notes already written, just pick out one that
corresponds to your miserable state of affairs’.
NOTE #1
Goodby, cruel world. It wasn’t my idea to be born here
(Don’t be so sure, Buster).
NOTE #2
I really don’t know if I should
really do this. They have made it so hard to die these days. I had planned to
leap out into space off the Golden Gate Bridge, but, damn! They just put a net
that would prevent me from my last sally forth.
NOTE #3
Aw, FUCK IT !!
BIG THREE
During WW2 Roosevelt, Churchill
and General de Gaulle had a conference in Casablanca to discuss the liberation
of Europe. Churchill suffered acutely from the absence of alcohol at the
insistence of Roosevelts deference to the Sultan’s religion. Churchill’s program in a note to H. Hopkins for
the day was; “Diner at the white House (dry, alas!) with the Sultan. After
dinner; recovery from the above”.
